Tips For Coping With A Cancer Diagnosis
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¢ Learn as much as possible about your disease. At times, ignorance or a lack of understanding is your worst enemy. Arm yourself with information in order to lessen frustration. Do not hesitate to ask questions about your disease. You may wish to keep a notebook with all of the medical records and information about your diagnosis; sometimes, you can be too numb or too upset at the hospital and realize later that you forgot everything the physician had said.

¢ Keep a journal of your feelings about your disease and the impact on your life. As time goes on, you may be able to look back and see that things are improving.

¢ Learn about your health benefits so that you understand what expenses will be covered by insurance.

¢ Continue doing your usual, daily activities. You will still have grocery shopping, laundry, and going through the mail to do on a daily or weekly basis. Having some of these "regular" activities will help you cope and feel more in control.

¢ Take care of your family relationships. Although your primary focus is on your cancer, it is important to also spend time as you normally would with your family, friends, and spouse. It is healthy to have fun together. Relieving stress and strengthening family relationships will allow you to cope better with your disease.

¢ Utilize the support groups in the area, as well as national support groups and their resources. St. John’s has a number of professionals and support group opportunities. The following are available to help you learn and respond to the psychological, social, spiritual, emotional and practical impacts of cancer. St. John’s Cancer Center's support services coordinator can provide additional information about support groups to assist you and your family. Call 417-820-3324 or 800-432-2273 for assistance.

¢ Don't be afraid to ask for help. Each family's need for support is unique. Friends and family members will often ask, "Is there anything I can do to help?" Consider saying "yes" to this question and ask them to pick up your groceries, help with the laundry or housecleaning, pick up your children from their extracurricular activities, or make dinner. "Assigning" a friend or family member something to do to help you will also help them feel like they are contributing.

¢ Avoid emotionally draining situations. Sometimes, well-meaning friends and family members will say the worst possible thing at the time of a cancer diagnosis. They truly want to help or be supportive, but sometimes do not know how to respond. Their words may hurt you or disappoint you, even though that was not their intention. You must realize that people will not know what your needs are unless you tell them. Sometimes, it is simply easier to be forthright and tell someone "I would just like you to sit quietly with me and keep me company" or "I need to spend some time alone right now." Do not be afraid to express your needs during this time.

¢ Other people may want to talk to you about their experiences with cancer. They may believe that they are being helpful to you, but instead may be making your situation feel even more overwhelming. It is important for you to avoid these discussions if they are not helping you. It is healthy to be "selfish" and ask for what you need, as well as what you do not need during this time.

¢ Share what you have learned. You will have important knowledge and skills that you learn as you experience your illness. You could help others and their families by sharing your experiences in a support group or other setting.